


Smooching Room

by devil



Category: Wander Over Yonder
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-08-14 07:06:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8003077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devil/pseuds/devil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peepers tries to renovate the ship and get rid of the unneeded rooms.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Smooching Room

“Uh, Peepers… do you see what’s wrong with this?” Lord Hater bends over, holding a tablet in front of the Peeper’s face. The small alien’s lid furrows. 

“It’s the orders for the ships construction I need you to sign off on, sir.” 

“But do you see what’s WRONG with this?” The tablet is pushed forward, slapping Peepers in the face multiple times. A bony finger posts at text on the screen. “It says all Smooching Rooms are to be redesigned into other things! Dumb things!” He pulls the tablet up to look at it. "A war room! A weapons storage room! An advanced janitor’s closet? I can’t smooch someone in there, Peepers! No one wants to smooch a janitor!“

"Sir, you wouldn’t actually be a janitor and–”

“Nope. Redo it.” Lord Hater tosses the tablet down for Peepers to just barely catch. He turns his back to Peepers, oblivious to the glare the watchdog is throwing at him. "I won’t approve of something as silly as removing the smooching room.“

Peepers clenches his fists, so tight the tablet screen cracks. Hater looks back at him. "What’s silly is having a smooching room! And what’s even sillier than that is having multiple smooching rooms!” The little alien walks towards him, pointing. "We NEED the rooms I designed! You don’t even have anyone to smooch!“

The skeleton scoffs, acting as if he’s looking at his gloves. "Uh, I have so many people to smooch. Like all the hot babes who totally want me, duh. Think a little, Peepers.”

Peepers inhales, head twitching. 

“Beeeesides, it’s more of a future use kinda thing, ya know? For when I rule the galaxy. Then I’m gonna need a room for every babe.”

The Watchdog inhales again, seeming to calm himself.

“For all six women who will be able to tolerate you?” He mutters to himself before speaking up. "Well that’s good and all sir but you don’t need a kissing roo–“

"Smooching room.”

“–Smooching room. An entire room dedicated to smooching is silly! You can smooch anywhere!”

Lord Hater slumps against a wall, arms cross. He seems to ponder this for a second, letting out a little hum. "…nah. It’s not the same. The smooching room is all about the atmosphere. It really gets you in the mood for doing smooch stuff. You wouldn’t understand, you don’t have a mouth.“

"Oh I understand, sir. I understand how STUPID THIS IS! Prove to me somehow that these rooms are necessary otherwise they’re getting the boot!”

Hater is taken off guard. Stutters leave him, unsure of what to say. "I could, uh, I dunno. I could smooch someone. In the hallway. Then in the smooching room.“

"Who, one of your imaginary girlfriends?” 

Hater mumbles, kicking the ground. He’s wracking his brain to find a comeback. Only one idea comes to mind. "I dunno… I guess I could. I could smooch you I guess?“

"Wha–sir, I…” The Watchdog is confused by that, anger immediately defused. He steps back, laughing nervously. "It’s… you’re joking, right? This is a joke? You’re just pulling my leg?“

"I mean, if it’s the only way to prove to you, I guess I have to.” Lord Hater leans over and picks the small creature up. Peepers lets out a shrill noise, squirming in his hands. The broken tablet is dropped, cracking yet again. He settles down after a second.

“If-if it’s the only way then… I guess I can’t object.”

The two of them stare at each other, neither moving forward. Peepers swallows, eye wavering. "S-sir?“

"Hold on. I just. I gotta…” Hater scrapes his teeth against the bottom of his mouth. His voice is quiet. "I’ve never smooched anyone before. So…“

"I’m going to be your first kiss, sir?”

“No! I have! I’ve kissed tons of girls before, shut up, Peepers, you didn’t hear that! Here I’ll prove it! Stop stressing me!” Hater pulls him forward, planting a kiss right on top of his head. He lets it linger, not moving away. The man can feel his bones heating up. “Commander Peepers, I… I think…”

“Wow, did you see that folks? Lord Hater’s first kiss! And with Commander Peepers!”

Hater and Peeper’s head snaps in the direction of the voice. Andy stands near the end of the hall, and another watchdog filming in front of him. "I’d put money on it being Commander Peepers’ first kiss, too!“

"See, this is why we need a smooching room.” Hater says, shaking his head.

Peepers eye goes wide, a loud grrr rumbling in his throat. With a shriek he jumps out of Hater’s arms. "Andy! How many times do I have to tell you!“

The little alien shoots off, charging at the other watchdogs as they scatter. Hater picks up the broken tablet, clicking his tongue. "I told him so.”


End file.
